If You’re Capy and You Know It
Man, the capybara certainly seems to be in vogue lately. Not in Vogue, although it could be a matter of time. No, people just love these things. They are in the zeitgeist. Perhaps because they invaded a wealthy community once. Or perhaps just because they are cute. Or maybe it’s the subtle shadiness of their eyes, like they are constantly tired of your crap. Might be all of the above.
In any case, there is a demand for capybara content. Time to capitalize on it with some hastily thrown-together daytime programming we can sell to the networks/streaming services!
Capybara O’Hara - Classic detective serial but with a capybara for a detective. Kind of lame, but it’s bound to be a thing eventually, anyway. Look, they’ve done just about every permutation of detective show at this point. They’re gonna be scraping the bottom of the barrel. Might as well be the one to pitch it and get the big bucks before someone else does.
Capybara Court - People bring their petty conflicts and grievances before a capybara, hoping for some sort of resolution. The capybara offers none. The capybara also holds no legal authority. Fights occur regularly between plaintiffs. They tend to go on for a while too, as the bailiff is also a capybara.
No Capy - A gameshow wherein contestants must tell the truth or, perhaps, convincing lies when interviewed by the host. Whether their statements seem true or not is judged by a distinguished panel of capybaras. If they can consistently fool these capybaras, they have a chance at the grand prize.
Captain Capybara - Maybe the spiritual successor to Captain Kangaroo? Although Captain Kangaroo was Captain Kangaroo because he had big pockets. What makes this person Captain Capybara? He is the largest rodent? Only has eight fingers and six toes? Has square poops? Wait, no, that’s a wombat. Hm… Could use some more brainstorming.
