Open boxes like nature intended

It’s easy to forget that humans are still evolving.

It seems pretty dramatic when you read a textbook or something and see the timeline of sea creatures gradually crawling up onto land and eventually learning to walk and climb and ride skateboards and compete on Dancing with the Stars. But that all took millions of years, so it’s easy to forget that right now we are still veeeeeery slowly adapting to our environments in ways we probably can’t even comprehend.

And you know what? Those new adaptations are probably going to be pretty embarrassing when we look back on them.

Komodo dragons evolved to have poisonous bites and some rat creature figured out how to become an awesome flying bat, but here we are, probably getting longer thumbs so we can reach up to the very top of our huge phone screens or get better at sensing our various electronic notifications.

Thanks to buying crap online, our bodies are probably also trying to come up with some evolutionarily advantageous way to open boxes, too. In another million years, we’ll all have cat claws for effortlessly slicing packing tape and maybe a tail that stabs the air out of those poofy plastic packing materials.

Well you don’t have to wait a million years, because we’ve got your box opening cat claws right here.

Evolution is for suckers. Just ask a penguin.

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