Hot or cold

We don’t know much, but we know this: sometimes bodies hurt and the best way to get relief is to make them briefly hurt even more before succumbing to the sweet relief of hot or cold percussion massage.

We also know that we’re not entirely convinced that the hot/cold bit makes a bit of difference. This thing is going to essentially batter your muscles from point-blank range, and suggesting that the temperature of the little nubbin banging into you over and over at high speeds is kind of like touting that a 2x4 about to smack you in the face is flavored like cool ranch. It may be true, but your mind is going to spend more time on the face-smashing sensation than it is the tastiness sensation, however real that tastiness may be.

So yeah. Try it hot. Try it cold. Let us know if it matters.

Other than that, we’re just going to point out that you can spend actual hundreds of dollars on machines that are awfully similar to this one and that this exact model retails at $129.99.

To heck with that. Drop thirty bucks on a solid handheld massager that has all the settings, power, and attachments you could ever want, including that hot/cold one.

Relief is waiting for you. (But not for two hundred dollars.)