Greetings! The following is part of an interactive fiction project we’re running on Meh for April Fools Day. Feel free to join in, or, if you’re just shopping, ignore all this and scroll down to the features.
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At the base of the mountain, you find a lodge with a store inside.
“Welcome, welcome,” cries an overeager salesman. “Are you planning on taking the big hike? Because if so, the 2020 walking sticks have just come in!”
He leads you over to a shelf of nondescript branches. “Here is the STCK, a rugged back-to-the-basics walking stick that comes with a sharpened spear-fishing attachment. And next to it, the EZ-Strider. Designed with ergonomics in mind, it’s extra knotty, for maximal shock absorption. And finally, there’s the uWalk 3.0. It tracks not only distance travelled but also the firmness of your grip, and if it senses you’re stressed, its internal AI will write a personalized calming haiku and send it to your smart phone.”
You tell him you only need some simple supplies: something soft to sleep in, a pack, and some provisions for eating. The salesman looks disappointed and mumbles something under his breath about how he should’ve never spent all week gathering those sticks.
You find what you need and pay for your goods. The salesman offers you a free gift on your way out. It’s some sort of repellant for giant insects and he insists you take it, and so you do, just to appease him.
Outside, when you’re packing everything up, you feel a tap on your shoulder and look up to see a boy.
“I can show you the fastest way up, for one piece of dried mutton,” he says.
