West Bend Espresso & Cappuccino Maker

Greetings! The following is part of an interactive fiction project we’re running on Meh for April Fools Day. Feel free to join in, or, if you’re just shopping, ignore all this and scroll down to the features.

__

You walk as lightly as you can around the back of the hut, careful not to snap even a twig. You see a small shed and decide to check what’s in there. You’re about 10 feet from it when the ground gives way below you and you fall into a deep pit.

You land on your thigh, but you’re okay. You see movement in the darkness and imagine it’s mice, or worse snakes. But when your eyes adjust you see the pit, which is bigger than you’d realized, is occupied by four other people. And they look… well… a lot like you. All of them wear jeans and ironic sweatshirts.

“Hey, welcome,” one of them says. And they introduce themselves. Fritz was working as an Associate Quality Assurance Assistant for a company that made a fits-all-bottles lid when he found the door in the mail room. Kathy was an Assistant Project Management Associate at the corporate headquarters of a company she describes as providing a service “like Uber but for haircuts”; the portal was under her desk one day. Georgina was a Secondary Database Subordinate, working for a dating app that linked users based on the tenor of the comments they made on user-submitted recipe sites, and found the door while smoking in the alley behind the office.

The last guy identifies himself as Dale. “I’ve only been here a few weeks. I worked for a deal site as a Junior Marketing Assessment Associate. I found the door when I was sent to get a drone for the photography department.” He holds up a box and you see it’s the exact model you were sent to retrieve.

When Dale’s finished, you ask: why are you all being held down here?

Kathy smiles a sad smile. “We’re be held by the witch. She’ll take us out one at a time. So she can use us in a stew.”

Wait to be turned into a stew.
Devise a plan to escape.

Customer Reviews

3.6 Overall Rating

A product’s star rating is based on a Machine Learning model instead of a raw data average. This model takes into account various factors used to improve the confidence in our star ratings.

5 stars
20%
4 stars
20%
3 stars
20%
2 stars
0%
1 star
40%
Verified Purchase

Coffee maker

Gift

Written by @blaandee - January 29th 2020
Verified Purchase

It’s a nice

Written by @mariespagnulobe - February 2nd 2020
See All Reviews

Features

Bring the café to your kitchen with the WestBend Espresso & Cappuccino Maker. The best part? You don’t have to be a barista to work the thing.

  • Conveniently uses ground coffee to prepare latte and cappuccino-style hot beverages by utilizing a swivel jet frother
  • Control water and steam pressure separately
  • Enjoy great-tasting espresso, thanks to stainless steel boiler and 15 bar pump pressure
  • Two separate thermostats allow for water and steam pressure to be controlled separately

Included In The Box

  • 1x WestBend Espresso & Cappuccino Maker

Reviews

Verified Purchase

Coffee maker

Gift

Written by @blaandee - January 29th 2020
Verified Purchase

It’s a nice

Written by @mariespagnulobe - February 2nd 2020
Verified Purchase

Coffee maker/espresso

Unfortunately when I order this machine I was expecting quality and I was excited to buy this product but went I receive my order and try it I notice the power cable was not tide like my order was not new second to make a coffee or espresso the part that you put the coffee and to close is so hard to close it that my coffee grand spill all over the machine and my coffee taste is like drinking water it doesn’t taste like espresso or capuchino at all I’m so disappointed with is purchased I will like a refund that having a coffee machine in use

Written by @rosa_carlo - May 10th 2020
Verified Purchase

Doesn't work out of the box

The water pump makes a lot of noise but the water does not leave the reservoir. I checked for possible packaging that could be blocking it but there is nothing there. I was so looking forward to a good espresso.

Written by @kmmacon - April 8th 2020