Treat Yo Cat

Remember those viral videos of cats freaking out about cucumbers? If I remember correctly, it was really funny until someone raised concerns about the stress the trend might be causing in our feline friends. (I never did it to my own cats, though I did once see one of them act similarly fearful around a sandal that had been left in the middle of the kitchen.)

Then, there was another trend: the tape squares. People would mark off squares of their floor with painters’ tape, and cats would find them and settle in.

Things like this make you wonder, are cats eccentric weirdos, possessing minds that process the world in bizarre ways? Or are they just a little stupid?

The answer is: yes.

Cats are kinda weird is the point.

You can get your cat a new bed for Christmas, and they might ignore it until mid-June, then sleep it in every day until the end of October, before going right back to ignoring it again. Toys long abandoned will become favorites. Toys long loved will be abandoned. Rules will be forgotten. Offenses will be taken over trivial things. Affection will be doled out when least expected.

The ever-shifting quirks are part of what makes having cats so fun.

But, unfortunately, this wackiness also extends to their palates.

One night, you lay out a plate of wet food and they gobble it up. The next day, they look from the plate to you as if offended you would ever think they’d lower themselves to eat such trash.

And the worst part is their palate follows no price lines. You can’t just spend a little bit more money and rest assured your kitties will eat their fill. They might love bargain brand bullshit and hate some organic 4-bucks-a-can stuff.

Which is why you should buy these treats from us. Because they’re healthy, they’re good, but most importantly, they’re only 37 cents per package.

Maybe your cats will absolutely love them. Maybe they’ll become their new go-to dinner or treat. But also, maybe not. And in that case, you can donate them or give them to a friend, all the while being glad you’re not out $77 to $106 you’d waste buying this much on Amazon.

And yes, our sales pitch is: your cats might hate these. But c’mon, if you have cats, you already knew that.

(Also, if your cat doesn’t like it, maybe you will. After all, this stuff is “human grade.” Seriously. And we’re burying this little tidbit here because the idea of eating cat food, even super high-quality cat food, sorta grosses us out.)

Anyway, buy some cat treats. It’s worth a shot, right?