Greetings! The following is part of an interactive fiction project we’re running on Meh for April Fools Day. Feel free to join in, or, if you’re just shopping, ignore all this and scroll down to the features.

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A bit further up the mountain, you begin to see goats. First one, then a few more, then a whole herd. Standing at the center, a man feeds them carrots.

“And for you Cornelius, and Cleo, and Humphrey, and–” he trails off when he notices you watching him. “Ah, greetings stranger! Am I to assume that you are here to learn the art of goat farming?” Before you can respond, he clears his throat and speaks, as if reading from some unseen text: “The goat does not head butt out of some general meanness or desire for chaos. Rather, he is merely expressing his angry disappointment at a world whose exuberance does not match his. Thus, in order to successfully farm goats, we must ourselves find the same delight in the world as they do. That’s from my book, The Goat And His Farmer, a radical text many have cited as their reason for seeking my guidance. But I can tell from your confused expression that this is not the reason for your hike up the mountain. So why do you come this way, traveller?”

You tell him of Iirkë’s promise. He shakes his head.

“This all sounds very familiar to me. But as far as I’ve heard, Iirkë has said many things over the course of his life, and also many more things during his current incorporeal imprisonment. Few have been true, or true in the way that he’s implied. I know it may seem a ridiculous occupation, but mountainside goat farming is a stable career that can, if performed correctly, lead to significant wealth. Why don’t you stay and I’ll teach you my trade.”

Accept the man’s offer, and learn the art of goat farming.
Thank him for the offer, but continue on your quest.