Greetings! The following is part of an interactive fiction project we’re running on Meh for April Fools Day. Feel free to join in, or, if you’re just shopping, ignore all this and scroll down to the features.
Against your better judgment, you decide to stay and learn the ways of goat farming from the man on the mountainside. You stay longer than any of his previous apprentices, and because of this, he reveals many secrets he has kept from the others. He teaches you the method for hypnotizing a goat using three quick snaps of your fingers and a stern look. He teaches you the ancient technique of horn massage and attitude adjustments performed through the manipulation of a hoof. When others show up seeking his guidance, he allows you to teach some of the lessons he’s taught you, and sometimes you catch him watching you with a warm smile that can only be described as paternal.