Due to a high volume of orders, delivery times are longer than usual and support response times are delayed.

3-Pack: Unsimply Stitched Long-Sleeve Thermal Henley Shirts

Greetings! The following is part of an interactive fiction project we’re running on Meh for April Fools Day. Feel free to join in, or, if you’re just shopping, ignore all this and scroll down to the features.

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Why are you doing this? Why in the hell are you charging at a trio of enormous wasps? And are you screaming? Do you think this is some sort of action movie? It’s confusing!

Not just for you, either. The old man scurries back, tripping on his bench. As for the wasps, they too are given momentary pause by your unadvisable bravery, looking to one another as if for some explanation.

And it turns out, a little bit of momentary confusion is exactly what you need. While they hover there, frozen in place by your behavior, you leap and hoist yourself on top of one. It tries to throw you off, but you grab its antennae, one in each hand, and it stabilizes suddenly. Tweaking them, you realize you can use the left to adjust speed, the right for direction.

Finally, years of playing simple mobile games on your phone is about to payoff big time!

You take off, the other two wasps in close pursuit. You fly straight towards a solitary tree growing out of the side of the mountain, much like the one struck by lightning, pulling up at the last possible second. One of the wasps isn’t quick enough, crashing directly into the trunk with an awful crunch. The other remains on your tail. You pull a quick somersault in the air and now your positions are changed.

You are in pursuit.

You get your wasp directly over the other and knee the abdomen. The stinger goes out and punches into the other’s thorax. When it retracts, the unmanned wasp wobbles in the air before its wings cease buzzing, and it falls to the rocky snags below.

You can hear the old man screaming behind you, but it fades as you fly to the base of the mountain. When you reach where Iirkë is being held, you crash-land and roll off, unscathed.

Proceed.

Features

Keep warm and cozy with these long-sleeve thermal henley shirts by Unsimply Stitched. Featuring 100% breathable cotton and a 3-button placket, these are perfect for achieving your ideal level of comfort.

  • Long-sleeve thermal henley
  • Lightweight breathable fabric provides additional comfort
  • 3-button placket
  • Comes with 3 colors: Charcoal, blue and grey
  • Ideal for lounging around the home
  • Imported

Specifications

Included in the box

  • 1x Charcoal Long-Sleeve Thermal Henley Shirt
  • 1x Blue Long-Sleeve Thermal Henley Shirt
  • 1x Grey Long-Sleeve Thermal Henley Shirt

Warranty

90 days

Available States

AL, AZ, AR, CA, CO, CT, DE, DC, FL, GA, ID, IL, IN, IA, KS, KY, LA, ME, MD, MA, MI, MN, MS, MO, MT, NE, NV, NH, NJ, NM, NY, NC, ND, OH, OK, OR, PA, RI, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VT, VA, WA, WV, WI, WY

Estimated Delivery Date

Monday, June 22nd - Thursday, June 25th. Due to a high volume of orders, delivery times are longer than usual.