This is a keychain powerbank. You either know what that is, or can jump in the forum to ask other people about it.
Why aren’t we giving you more info? Well, we weren’t sure what to write for the Meh-rathon so we decided to look at some past Meh write-ups for inspiration. (You can find a random one here, if you want.) Unfortunately, all that did was make us nostalgic and maybe a little teary-eyed. And then the boss was all “Where’s the write-ups, writer dude?” and we panicked and… uhh… Please enjoy this classic write-up about an entirely different product! Also, feel free to share in the forum if you find one you liked or forgot about or missed entirely.
You don’t need an excuse to treat yourself to this Chromebook at any time of year. If you find its 1080p display alluring, if your fancy is tickled by its 9-hour battery life, if you’re cool with Chrome OS running pretty much anything you can do in a browser or with apps, and if you have the money for it… indulge! Buy it! With testimonials like this epic paean from Anandtech and over 800 5-star Amazon reviews - all assuming a significantly higher price - it’s a safe bet you’ll get your Benjamin-and-a-half worth out of it.
But we know. That’s not enough for some people. Especially this time of year, when you’ve probably just bought presents for a bunch of people and received some in return. So here are some excuses to help you feel OK about buying yourself a Toshiba Chromebook this December 28:
Iowa Statehood Day: On this day in 1846, Iowa officially became the 29th state in the Union. Without Iowa, the U.S. would produce 19% less corn and 30% fewer hogs. We’d never have had great Americans like Tom Arnold and Ashton Kutcher. And some foreign country would be home to the World’s Largest Rocking Chair. Celebrate Iowa today by purchasing this Chromebook which, as far as we know, has nothing to do with Iowa.
Day 4 of the 12 Days of Christmas: In the Western Christian tradition, today is the day to give your love four collie birds. But you don’t know what collie birds are, and your love doesn’t want a bunch of birds flapping around the house anyway. Spend that money on a Chromebook instead, so you can Google where in your area you can buy lords a-leaping.
Guy Debord’s Birthday: The founder of Situationism was the quintessential obnoxious French intellectual, forever puffing on Gauloises, flinging pamphlets at museum-goers, founding and dissolving ludicrous political factions, and printing his autobiography with a sandpaper cover so it would fuck up your other books on the shelf. “Young people everywhere have been allowed to choose between love and a garbage disposal unit,” he cried. “Everywhere they have chosen the garbage disposal unit.” What better day to fetishize a commodity and take your part in the spectacle of consumer capitalism?
The end of a holiday you don’t celebrate: If you don’t observe Christmas, you don’t have to be a war-on-Christmas, tear-down-the-manger type to at least feel a little relief that it’s not going to be in your face for a while. Celebrate the noncelebration with a cheap refurbished Chromebook.
The end of “All I Want for Christmas is You” season: OK, you might still hear it if you wander into J. Jill or Aeropostale this week. But for the most part, the annual assault of Mariah Carey’s syrupy, twinkly atrocity has entered its ceasefire period. Enjoy life to the fullest while you can. Buy yourself this Chromebook and never look back.
As a birthday present for an unlucky late-December baby: If your birthday is right around now, you probably get screwed on your total annual gift haul. Make up for a lost loot with a birthday present to yourself. Of course, if you know someone in this predicament, you can make their year by giving them a new Chromebook. We know this was supposed to be a list of reasons to indulge yourself, but we’ll happily profit from your altruistic impulses, too.
Surviving Christmas with at least $150 left: Now that is an achievement to be proud of. Treat yo’self! By which we mean, wipe away your hard-won discipline in an instant with one impulsive purchase!
